Letting Go of Posers

We all have them in our lives. People who pretend to care about us, but who don't genuinely care about our best interests or love us with a true heart. We all have posers in our lives, usually more than one. These people act like they care, but have ulterior motives. Generally, they either want to keep up appearances, there is something they want from you, or they are just looking for drama. It could definitely be something other than those three things, but those tend to be the three main things that cause people to pretend to care.

A lot of the times, we can spy a poser and let it roll off our backs, right? However, sometimes it's not so easy. Once in awhile the person pretending to care is someone you wish would genuinely care about you, like a family member or friend. In these circumstances, it is not so easy to allow the fakeness of their facade to pass by. It can be draining to go along with their fraudulence in the public eye, (if your situation calls for it), and even worse if you have to cut the person off because they are toxic. These are the kind of situations that can grip your heart and cause the kind of tension and depression that could easily flip your world upside down. It's never easy watching someone you genuinely care about only pretend to genuinely care about you, only say they love you; but act in opposition, and only claim to have your best interests at heart when they really only care about their own.

Dealing with posers is something I have been learning to do over time; and let me tell you - it has not been easy. I am not the kind of person who easily lets go, especially of people I care about. For me, it took me way too long. I waited until the toxicity of a poser became so poisonous that it was plastered in bright red writing all over the walls of my life that it was time to let go. Letting go wasn't easy. I worked on it in therapy and I still sometimes struggle with it in my daily life. But let me tell you something: The moment I made the conscious choice to say goodbye to the poser in my life, a weight was lifted. I felt freedom. I may have to remind myself that I said goodbye sometimes, and there may be times that the poser still gets to me; but in the end I know that they are a poser, and I know that I am better off without them.

I've still got a lot to learn pertaining to this part of my journey. I have to learn not to let my poser get to me so easily when they have the chance to make contact (I did cut contact with them, but they are persistent). I have to remember the toxicity of their actions so I don't get drawn in. Above all, I have to manage my anxiety around the subject in order to maintain stability and focus on the big things in my life - like my school-work and learning to drive.

I hope readers, this is a lesson to you. Don't wait too long to cut toxic, dishonest, posers out of your life. People who care about you will care about you for who you are, as you are. They will support you, and have your best interests at heart. Anyone who does not support you in this manner is unlikely to be genuine. Let go of the posers, and grab onto an even freer YOU.

But I leave you with a word of caution- try not to be OVERLY prudent of posers; there is no need for you to cut perfectly good friends and family who love and support you out of your life. :)